


What Is And Always Shall Be

by joeyrz



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess, seaQuest
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-04-17
Updated: 2001-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:59:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Co-Written with JaimeBlue. Three mourners decide to return the bodies of their fallen friends to Greece from Rome. However, the journey proves different from what they expected, fraught with dangers and discovery and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Is And Always Shall Be

**Author's Note:**

> J&J would like to thank each other for endless support, encouragement, and ideas. They would also like to thank mIRC for providing such a fun place to write a story. The authors would also like to note that they have taken artistic liberties with Fallen Angel. :-)

Eli took a deep breath of pure control as he watched his companions work. Amarice had already moved Xena's body to the wagon, and his eyes watched as the strangely dressed man struggled to pull the other body into his arms. Eli could tell that the weight of the woman's body, while not more than the man could carry, only served to remind him of the reality of this day.

He resisted the urge to step forward and take the weight himself, both from the man's arms and his spirit. As he approached, Eli reached out a hand to caress the hair of one who had cared for him so dearly. Once the bodies rested on the rotting wood of the wagon, Eli's eyes met those of his companion's.

"Why?" the man asked. "Why now? Why ever?"

"I don't know, Joxer," Eli replied. "The Light says there is a purpose to every event in our lives. It is up to us to figure out the whys on our own." He paused as the pain in the man's eyes threatened to overcome him. "But I am sorry, Joxer. I know they must have meant so much to you, for you meant a lot to them."

The dark head shook itself a moment before the adjoined shoulders straightened. "We'd better go before they know we're here."

With a nod, Eli followed the wagon as Amarice started the horse into a steady gait.

~*~*~*~

Amarice had gone to scout the area, leaving the two men to watch over Xena and Gabrielle's bodies.

Eli looked at Joxer, sitting opposite him on the wagon's front seat. The man seemed lost in his own grief. He was crying slightly, which Eli considered to be a good thing.

"Amarice is very brave to go scout alone," he said, trying to draw Joxer into conversation.

"She's an amazon."

"Yes, I know."

After what seemed to be a long time, Eli spoke again. "Are you okay, Joxer?"

Joxer glared at Eli and jumped off the wagon, his armor rattling slightly.

"Am I okay? Okay? My only two friends in the world are dead! And I wasn't there to protect them! I could have done something. I could have saved them. I could have at least been a distraction to the guards while they got away. I should have been there!"

Eli got off the wagon and tried to grab a hold of Joxer, who was pacing frantically around it, shivering slightly as his blanket had fallen off of his shoulders.

"Joxer, listen to me. It wasn't your fault. The Light works in mysterious ways, and if you weren't there to save Gabrielle and Xena, it was because you could have died too. You have a purpose, Joxer."

Eli grabbed Joxer's shoulder and pulled the man towards him, enfolding him in a comforting hug. He stroked the younger man's hair as Joxer cried into his shoulder.

"What am I gonna do without them? They're my only friends."

"I can be your friend too, Joxer. If you let me."

Eli kept his hold on Joxer until the sobs abated. He playfully shook the man then steered them towards the wagon again, picking up the blanket on the way. He made Joxer get up first as he tossed the wet material onto the back of the wagon. He got up on the bench and pulled Joxer close to him so they could share his dry blanket.

When Amarice got back, Joxer had fallen asleep on Eli's shoulder. "So far, there's no trace of them nearby," she announced quietly to Eli. "I think it's safe to camp for tonight. But we can't light a fire." Amarice motioned her head at Joxer. "How is he?"

Eli shrugged and sighed softly. "He's hanging in there. He feels responsible for their deaths."

"Yeah well... if he knew they were gonna die, he should have warned them sooner!" she huffed. Pulling herself onto the wagon bed, she sat turning her back on the men and closed her eyes.

Eli considered sleeping there on the bench, but figured their backs would suffer in the morning. Eli tried to stretch out his tired muscles without disturbing the sleeping Joxer. The man looked so at peace, he didn't want to wake him. "Why don't we find a spot on the ground to rest for the night?"

Amarice hopped off the wagon, rolling her eyes at Eli. "There's a spot just over there," she motioned in the direction from which she'd come. "After all, *some* of us were actually doing something useful."

"How far is it?"

"Just on the other side of those trees," she answered as she gathered up a few blankets from the back of the wagon. "We should be safe if we move the wagon to the very edge of the trees. The horse will remain at the camp with us. This way, we won't have far to go should we have to make a quick getaway."

Eli grabbed hold of the reins and prodded the horse to move closer to the tree line. Once the wagon was positioned, Amarice returned empty-handed and immediately set to releasing the horse from its confines.

Eli looked down at Joxer's sleeping face, trying to figure out how to get the man down to the ground. With a sigh, he pulled Joxer up into his arms and tried not to make too many jerky movements as he stepped down from his perch.

He ignored the glares Amarice shot him and his charge as he carried Joxer over to the campsite, laying him upon one of the blankets Amarice had set out for them. He rested a hand against the man's skin to gauge his condition as the amazon led the horse to the small clearing.

Assured that Joxer was physically well, Eli spread out his own blanket, noticing Amarice doing the same, and lay down to get some much-needed rest.

His mind, however, had other plans.

He could hear the deep breathing of his companions as they escaped to the land of dreams, his own mind overflowing with too many thoughts.

As he wrapped his arms around himself, his fingers brushed up against a spot on his tunic that was still slightly wet from Joxer's tears. He was glad Joxer had finally broken down in front of him. He needed the release. Eli had worried that, had he not expressed his feelings, they would have eaten away at him.

He couldn't help but feel a measure of pride at the fact that it was him that Joxer had trusted enough to let his true feelings show. He could tell the man had a tendency to keep his innermost thoughts and feelings to himself. The man he'd met on the Roman mountain had not been the man described to him by their fallen comrades.

He'd rarely seen such love and loyalty, and this man was overflowing with them both.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a nearby whimper. He rose from his blanket to see a shudder pass through Joxer's body. His eyes, however, were still closed. *He's dreaming,* Eli thought to himself. *It must be a nightmare.* He kneeled next to Joxer, laying a hand on a shaking shoulder. Instinctively, the man's body turned toward him and the comfort he brought.

As his hand rubbed comfortingly along the man's shoulders, he noticed the shuddering cease. Reaching behind him, he pulled his blanket so that it was as close to Joxer's as possible, then lay back down. His hand remained in contact as he drifted asleep.

...Eli's eyes opened, and for a moment, he was disoriented. He was standing at some kind of basin, water pouring out of a strange piece of metal that hung from the wall before him.

Looking at his hands, he rubbed them under the water to remove all traces of the soap that covered them.

He looked up into a medium-sized mirror and nearly panicked. It was he, yet it wasn't. His hair only came down to his shoulders, and his beard was much shorter than he'd thought.

"Dr. Levin?" a voice called from his right. He turned, and suddenly felt as if he'd been possessed. He was doing and saying things over which he had no control.

"Yes, nurse?" the words tumbled out of his mouth in *his* voice.

"The Lieutenant is here for his physical. He's waiting for you in the other room."

He felt his face nod as his body started walking into another room. Everything around him looked strange. *What is this? Where am I?* he thought.

A strange feeling grew in his stomach with every step his body took. His steps slowed as he approached a bed where a man sat, waiting.

The feeling in his stomach rose up into his chest, spreading throughout his body as his eyes met those of the man.

*Joxer?* he wondered. *What is he doing here? And what is that on his face?*

"Well, Lieutenant, are you ready for me?"

He couldn't help but notice the glint in the other man's eyes as he responded. "Always."

"Now, Mr. O'Neill, I'll need to get at your chest and back. Could you please pull down your jumpsuit and remove your shirt?"

Eli's eyes never strayed from the man as he did as he was asked. He felt the conflict within him, the need to reach out to the man and aid him in undressing versus a need for secrecy he couldn't understand.

Removing the cold metal that had been hanging from his neck, Eli's mouth blew slightly on one end of it as he inserted the other end, which separated in two, into his ears.

Eli couldn't understand how he could lose control like this. He felt as if he was in a play, looking through one of the thespian's eyes. Not being able to control the next move of his body greatly unnerved him.

"Okay, Mr. O'Neill. Let's listen to that heart of yours."

"I bet it'll tell you many good things."

"I bet it will," Eli felt himself grinning at Joxer... what had he called him, O'Neill?

As he placed the metal plate over Joxer... O'Neill's heart, he felt the shivers that ran through the man, and his body responded in kind. Eli felt strong emotions flood him, fear, desire, and the one he knew most about but had hardly felt in his life, love.

"You have a strong heart, Tim."

Joxer-Tim grinned at him, his eyes shining with many things untold. Eli coughed. He stepped forward and into the other man, whose breath caught.

"Breathe deeply, I wanna hear those lungs working," he said as he put the metal on the man's back.

Eli was amazed; he could actually hear the other man's breathing, his heart pumping in his ears. He tried to close his eyes and inhale in the fragrance of the man's hair, but yet could not control his body.

He did jerk back in surprise as Tim (Joxer?), who was somewhat pressed against him, brushed his bottom lip over his shoulder...

His whole body jerked awake and he found himself back in control of his body. Eli brought a hand to his face and felt his long beard and hair, his hand moving at his will.

Turning a bit, he bit back a gasp of surprise as he found Joxer - because this *was* Joxer, with armor and all - lying in his arms, his head tucked into the curve of Eli's neck, his right arm holding him tightly by the waist.

And somehow, it felt right. Right to be comforting Joxer, right to be lying together, right to feel this tightness in his chest he knew must be love. The same kind of all-encompassing love he had for his God.

Eli remained where he was for a long time, his mind running over the dream... no, vision he'd received. What did it mean? What was the Light trying to tell him? The more he thought, the fewer answers he had. He began to realize that the sky was growing lighter. Morning would come soon, and with it another day of traveling.

Once again, he thought of the man in his arms, his kindness, his loyalty, his pride... Eli realized that, even though he'd formed a rapport with the man, Joxer would be upset should Amarice witness any show of weakness... such as requiring the comfort Eli gave him.

Regretfully, Eli disentangled himself from Joxer's arms and rose from the ground. He made his way to the sleeping horse, intending to have the wagon ready to leave the moment his companions woke from their slumber.

With a shiver, he wondered how long they could go before the Romans caught up to them.

~*~*~*~

Brown eyes peered from a wild and unkempt face, never leaving the shivering figure rocking on the dirty ground.

*Any moment now, my pretty one,* the creature thought to itself. *Just one little bite is all you need to relieve the hunger.*

"Mistress," a rough voice called out from behind the watcher. The figure turned, baring a set of rakish teeth and turning a psychotic glare on the newcomer.

"What do you want?! Can't you see I'm busy in here?!" the rasping voice responded, only barely belying its femininity.

"You called for me, Mistress."

The eyes flared with insanity as the newcomer shrank back. He could see the thoughts traveling across those eyes, and nothing could possibly scare him more than the thoughts of his Mistress.

"Ah, yes. I remember now. My Lord has asked me to take care of some... unfinished business, and you are going to do whatever I say."

The man fought back a shiver as he sought the words to respond. "Y-yes, Mistress. Your word is my command."

"Good. Now, all you have to do is find and kill a single man..."

~*~*~*~

The wagon lurched to the right suddenly as one of the wheels broke away. Joxer held the reins tightly as the horse reared up a bit, startled when he was held back violently.

Eli gathered his robe in one hand as he dismounted and walked towards the horse, hushing and calming it down. He watched as Joxer retrieved the wheel from where it had stopped rolling a ways down the snow-dusted road.

"Aw, great!" Amarice whined as she inspected the wagon. "This is the last thing we need."

Joxer rolled the wheel back. He managed to maintain it in his control until the last moment, when it slipped from his fingers and smashed into the crouching amazon.

Amarice was knocked down, falling on her side. She quickly got up off the snow and made a show of dusting herself off.

"What's the big idea, idiot? You wanna make me break my neck? Haven't you caused enough damage already?"

"I-I didn't... It was an accident!"

"You're a klutz, Joxer," she sneered as she tried to right the wheel.

"Amarice, that's a little harsh. Joxer was only trying to help. Instead of insulting him, we need to be more kind to each other, now more than ever."

Amarice glared at Eli. "You wanna bond so much, do it without me. I'm going to scout the area, make sure the Romans didn't get closer during the night."

Joxer looked down, and pushed away some snow with his foot. "I'm sorry, Eli. I'm making a mess of things."

Eli tied the horse's reins to the nearest tree and went to stand next to Joxer. He wanted to cup the man's chin to tilt his head up, but settled on laying a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be sorry Joxer. Amarice is hurting over the deaths of our friends. She cared for them very much. She is grieving the only way she knows how, through anger. Let's let her be and she'll calm down soon."

Joxer nodded and turned to the wagon. Inspecting the damage, he decided they needed something to hold it up and told Eli as much.

Looking around the road, they spotted a rock large enough to hold the wagon. Eli got the horse, and they tied a rope around the rock and the other end to the horse's saddle. Between them, they were able to move the rock and put it next to wagon. They lifted the wagon as the horse was made to pull it so it's right side rested on the rock.

They were sweating as they finished and Joxer pulled off his armor and shirt, staying only in his pants to work on the broken wheel.

"I can do this part myself, Eli. I've had to fix a few wheels in my time. Why don't you go give the horse some water?"

Eli nodded unconsciously, distracted by the vision Joxer presented. He tied the horse to the tree again and got the horse's feedbag out of the wagon. He filled it with water from a nearby creek that had not quite frozen over, and hung it over the horse's head.

He took a sip of water himself from the water skin as he contemplated the smooth, white skin of Joxer's back. It was so different from his own lightly tanned colour, yet so beautiful.

He startled himself out of his thoughts. He shouldn't be thinking about this right now. He should be grieving for their friends, not lusti...thinking about Joxer like this.

But Joxer *was* beautiful. He thought back to last night's vision, how full of love and desire he had felt when he was confronted with Joxe- Tim, half naked and teasing him. Almost like a newly married couple.

He still didn't know what to make of the vision. Was Joxer supposed to be that Tim O'Neill? He thought back to the visions Xena and Gabrielle had of their future lives in India. Could this have been vision of Joxer and his own future lives?

He looked back at the working man, crouching next to the wagon, his back gleaming from sweat and surprisingly toned muscles working hard. He swallowed as the same strong emotions of the vision filled him. He wanted to reach out and caress Joxer's back. He looked in awe as his hand seemed to act on its own and reached out to touch the naked flesh.

When his hand made contact, he felt faint. Joxer's skin was so soft, but the muscles underneath were strong, like steel covered in silk. As Joxer looked back and up at him, his most basic functions took over and his other hand rose, offering the water skin. "Do you want some water, Joxer?"

"Thanks!" Joxer smiled as he took the skin, and upturned it to take a drink. Eli swallowed once again, his throat dry as he watched a single drop run down Joxer's neck and chest, down into his navel.

"Isn't that thing fixed yet?"

Amarice's voice startled Eli and he took a step back, but his heel caught his robe and he fell down backwards.

"Oh, by the gods! Joxer, is the thing fixed?"

Joxer gave the wheel a little spin, testing it. "Good as new!"

"Well, let's go then. The Romans aren't near, but I feel watched. I'll drive this time!" She said, untying the horse from the tree and retying him to the wagon. She jumped up on the bench and grabbed the reins.

Eli watched in silent frustration as Joxer pulled his shirt and armor back on. He shook his head and climbed up on wagon's bed, next to the women's bodies. Joxer sighed, grateful for the fact that he wasn't being made to ride next to his dead friends and climbed up next to Amarice.

Eli scanned the forest around them. He had been so distracted by Joxer that only when the young amazon had mentioned it, did he notice the feeling of being watched.

He shivered slightly; he felt cold inside. This wasn't a Roman tracking them... this was something much worse, something evil...

He debated whether to tell his companions, but decided against it. Not yet. He'd worry about it later, when they were somewhere safe. He sighed in relief, shaking off the feeling as Amarice urged the horse into a gallop.

~*~*~*~

A tiny rabbit foraged at the side of an empty road in Rome. It nuzzled through the snow to reach the remaining blades of green grass. Just as it had reached a tasty morsel, it was almost blinded by a bright red flash in the middle of the road. Once the light had dissipated, the animal scurried as far as it could hop, bristling at the evil that pervaded its senses.

A pair of dark eyes opened for the first time in months. They took in the road before them as various limbs stretched, reacquainting themselves with the now-unfamiliar mortal form.

After several moments of adjustment, the being closed its eyes and stretched its senses to the surrounding area. It had a job to do, and it would be done.

He took in a deep breath of winter air. THERE! He could practically smell the man on the wind. He felt the tendrils of -- the man shivered in disgust -- goodness his prey exuded.

Without conscious thought, his new legs moved to take him closer to the source of the goodness. As he moved, he was almost stopped by another scent on the winds. It held a sense of familiarity that eluded him. He felt he should know this scent, yet it was as if the memories were blocked to him.

Shaking it off, he continued on. His prey was far, but not too far. He should be caught up by nightfall, and once his mission was accomplished, he could return to his Mistress.

The woman was psychotic, but she more than knew how to reward a job well done.

~*~*~*~

The sun was already setting over the Roman hills when Amarice finally spotted shelter up ahead. She urged the horse in the direction of a shadowed entrance in the hill up ahead.

As the amazon took care of the horse, Eli chanced a look at the sky, which was rapidly filling with clouds. Glancing back at the wagon, he realized that sleeping in the company of two dead bodies was somewhat less uncomfortable than traveling with said bodies when they were decomposing after a wet snow.

"Joxer," Eli spoke up, "I think we should move them inside. Do you feel up to giving me a hand?"

"Of course." Joxer's chest heaved momentarily in what Eli guessed was but a parody of his usual bravado, but collapsed only moments later. The would-be warrior looked as if he was about to say something else, then changed his mind and hopped off the wagon. Eli moved to follow him and together, they moved the women's bodies into the cave.

The cave turned out to be some sort of abandoned temple built out of the natural stone cavity. In the center of the darkening room stood a large stone altar upon which Eli and Joxer placed the corpses.

Despite the safety of the shelter, it was once again deemed imprudent to light a fire.

Amarice soon joined the men, and the three travelers pulled out their bedrolls to prepare for the long, cold night. Only Eli noticed that his and Joxer's beds lied a little closer than they had been placed the previous night.

Suddenly, Amarice stopped in mid-motion, cocking her head to listen. The men paused, and only after several moments were they able to hear a rustling outside. Amarice and Joxer immediately pulled out their weapons, fearful that the Roman army had found them.

The two armed travelers moved for the doorway at the same time and nearly bumped into one another. "Joxer, stay in here and out of my way before you get us killed."

The amazon left, leaving the would-be warrior looking like he'd been kicked in the gut. Eli came up behind him and laid a hand on the man's shoulder. "I need you here, Joxer. We have to protect their bodies if we're to get them back to Greece."

Joxer nodded and pulled back his shoulders, making himself ready for whatever may come.

After several minutes, Amarice returned with a puzzled expression. "I couldn't find any Romans, or anything else." She walked in and approached the corpses lying on the altar, staring into the former warrior princess' face.

Amarice reached out with her hand, not quite touching the lifeless flesh, and took a lock of hair between her fingers. She pulled out her knife and cut it off.

"Xena," the amazon spoke with an unsteady voice, "they say the dead can hear the thoughts of the living, so hear this. I'm picking up where you left off. I may never be as good a warrior as you, and I know I'll never be wise, but I promise with all my heart and soul to honour the memory of the Warrior Princess."

Joxer walked up behind the amazon, wanting - needing to say something to make amends for whatever wrong the woman thought he'd committed. "She would have liked that."

"Yes," Eli agreed, wanting to say more but not quite knowing the words to speak.

The amazon turned angry eyes on the robed man, her fury a tangible thing. "What do *you* know about it, peace lover?"

Eli watched eyes wide as the woman stalked closer to him. "What?"

"*YOU* got them killed. YOU infected Gabrielle with your peace and love talk. You made her helpless!" The amazon took a breath before continuing her rant. "She would never have gotten captured if she hadn't lost her warrior spirit."

Eli watched the woman release her darker emotions. His chest tightened, her words cutting too close to his own darker thoughts, ones he'd harbored since before their journey had begun. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he managed to get out.

Before two pairs of shocked eyes, the amazon continued to release her fury. "It's not a feeling, it's a fact. You slowed them down just enough to kill them. You might as well have driven in the nails yourself."

Eli felt like he couldn't move. His own guilt and pain surfaced, leaving him defenseless to the amazon's onslaught. Just when he thought he would break down under the harshness, it was stopped by a single word.

"Enough!" Joxer demanded, stepping between his two companions. He had watched in shock as the man who'd helped him through his own mourning suffered the slings and arrows the amazon threw his way, and was unable to watch for one second longer.

Amarice suddenly turned and stalked off toward the cave's entrance, needing to let off some steam. A hand appeared on Joxer's shoulder, gently kneading out the tension it found there. "All right, Joxer. It's all right."

Suddenly, Joxer's shoulder felt empty. He turned only to find Eli had disappeared into one of the many passages that led away from the cave they inhabited. For a moment, he had no idea in which direction to turn until something, some kind of feeling or voice, led him along one of the passages.

His steps were quick, taking him down the dark passage until he spotted a hunched form up ahead. For a moment, he felt helpless, not knowing how to help the man who'd already helped him so much.

He crouched down next to the kneeling man, placed a hand on his shoulder, and was relieved it wasn't shaken off.

"Eli, she didn't mean any of what she said. She's upset."

Eli sighed, his shoulder shifting beneath Joxer's fingers. "She's right, Joxer. Even though her words were harsh, they still held some truth in them."

Joxer didn't know what to say. He sat down next to where Eli knelt, never taking his hand off the man's shoulder. "You helped me. Please, let me help you."

Eli looked into the sympathetic brown eyes and shivered. The strong feelings from his vision had returned, centering in those eyes.

Unconsciously, his gaze wandered, passing along the awkward nose that lent character to the man's smooth face, down to the thin lips that cracked from exposure to the cold. He was suddenly all too aware of Joxer's proximity, and the hand that lied on his shoulder.

He felt an ache deep within, an emptiness that was roughly shaped like the man who wanted to give him comfort. He wanted, needed to take it, to reach out to Joxer and...

No! He couldn't. His body stiffened as a wave of guilt and pain overtook him. If he had caused the deaths of his friends, then Joxer would be at risk as well. He couldn't stand by and watch as this gentle soul was destroyed because of him.

"Joxer, go. I need to be alone."

Joxer's mouth opened and closed before he could finally speak. "But Eli..."

"I said go!" Eli put as much vehemence into his voice as possible. He hated causing his friend any more pain, but it was for the best. He couldn't be responsible for another death, not for Joxer's.

Pain-filled eyes blinked as the comforting hand was taken back. Eli could feel the cold emptiness where the hand had lain and watched as Joxer rose to return to the outer cavern, to his friends and the amazon.

~*~*~*~

Joxer stepped outside the cave, his mind troubled. Every fiber of his being was telling him to go back and stay with Eli and comfort him. But he didn't understand why. Why this - need? He'd only just met Eli a day or so ago, but he felt... He didn't know what he felt.

Joxer leaned against the cave's mouth, his back to the bodies of his fallen comrades. Looking out to the forest surrounding them, he felt a chill run down his spine.

He knew that Amarice was seated just inside the cave, trying to fix Xena's chakram, so it wasn't her presence he felt outside.

Walking further out into the small clearing in front of the cave, he started to shiver again. Before he could turn and call on Amarice, a shape flew out of the forest, crashing into him.

Joxer felt the air being knocked out of him as he fell backwards on the unyielding snow.

He didn't have time to react as a pair of leathery hands grabbed his neck and pulled him slightly up. He grabbed the wrists of his attacker and opened his eyes as soon as he realized they were closed. He recognized the face of his attacker as soon as he saw it and froze, fear and panic rushing through him.

The man pulled him closer to his face, and pleasant surprise coloured his features as he hissed, "You!"

Joxer gasped as the hands crushing his neck and the body pinning him down were suddenly removed and he scrambled to get up as he watched Amarice tackle his tormentor.

The amazon flipped backwards and off the man, pulling out her sword. "Get up, and fight like a man!"

The huddled figure chuckled. "I have a better idea."

Amarice and Joxer fell back a few steps as they watched in horror as the man's body grew black, leather-like wings; his face changed and grew horns.

"What are you?" Amarice asked in barely a whisper.

"They called me Cryton, and I was one of the best warlords in all Greece. Until that piss poor excuse for a man killed me," he said, pointing at Joxer. Cryton looked inside the cave and grinned. "Now little girl, hand over the Messenger, this little shit and the bodies, and maybe I'll leave you in one piece."

Joxer stepped forward. "You can have me, Cryton. But leave Eli, Amarice and the bodies alone."

Cryton laughed uproariously. He grabbed Joxer by the neck of his shirt and pulled him up and off his feet. "But you are only the icing on the cake. My Mistress wants the Messenger, and I'll be rewarded if I bring her Xena's head on a platter!"

Amarice's war cry echoed against the cave's walls as she ran forward and thrust her sword into Cryton's back. The demon dropped Joxer in surprise and turned on Amarice, her sword still embedded on his back.

"You're a fool, little girl. You cannot kill me, I'm already dead!" he said as he backhanded her with such force she flew across the clearing and landed on her back. Cryton pulled the sword out of his back and advanced on the downed amazon.

"Nooooo!" Joxer cried as he jumped on Cryton, locking his hands on the demon's neck. Cryton dropped the sword as he staggered and slowed enough to give Amarice time to get up.

Cryton turned viciously and Joxer flew off him, landing nearby. He grabbed Joxer by the hair on the nape of his neck and pulled him up. "I want the MESSENGER!"

"I'll give him to you," Amarice spoke up. "If you leave the bodies alone."

"No!"

Cryton threw Joxer aside and walked on his hoofed feet to Amarice. "Where is he?"

"First you promise to leave Xena and Gabrielle's bodies intact and alone."

Joxer jumped up to his feet and grabbed Amarice's sword. "I won't let you have Eli!" he said as he slashed the sword across the demon's back.

Cryton turned on him and sneered, "I'm gonna kill the little pest, whether you like it or not, boy!"

"Over my dead body!"

Cryton grinned. "That can be arranged." One wing caught Joxer off guard and knocked him back. Cryton kept advancing on him, forcing Joxer back and down as the wings kept flapping over him.

A tree finally stopped Joxer's retreat and Cryton grabbed him by the neck, choking him. Joxer tried to pry the fingers off him, but it was impossible. As Joxer was finally giving up on breathing, the hold loosened then disappeared altogether.

Cryton growled as the earth shook and opened up beneath him. As the demon forcibly descended into the abyss, he raged and cursed.

As if nothing had happened, the earth reformed itself, and Joxer fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

Amarice stood by, not knowing if Joxer would want her around after her betrayal.

Joxer stood up shakily, grabbing onto the tree.

Amarice spoke quietly. "We should bury them here. With so many Romans around, I-- I think it's gonna get us killed if we try to make it to Greece."

Joxer avoided Amarice's eyes. "Yeah, we'll bury them here."

"What about Eli?"

Joxer stopped walking and his back stiffened. "I'll worry about Eli from now on."

Amarice said something else, but Joxer didn't hear her. His body ached, but he needed to find Eli. To make sure he was all right and was not taken away while they fought Cryton.

Entering the cave, he trailed a hand over the bodies of his friends, making sure they were there, and then turned to the passage where he knew Eli was hiding out.

~*~*~*~

Cryton growled as he stalked through the dark passages of Hell. He had been so close to getting his revenge on the one who'd killed him, only to be pulled back before the final blow. He didn't care if his Mistress struck him down; he was going to give her a piece of his mind.

He entered the wild, noisy room and looked up to the place of honour where his Mistress always sat. He stopped. Where was his Mistress, who was this that had taken her place, and why did she look so familiar?

"Cryton," the woman called out, "approach."

With a steadying breath, the demon stepped toward the horned woman.

"Your mission is no longer required. I will lead these demons into victory over Paradise with or without interference from the Earth."

Cryton nodded then turned, intending to forget the Messenger but not his revenge. He was stopped by his new Mistress' voice.

"And Cryton, you will forget about the one who killed you. When his time comes, Gabrielle and I will steal him from the Light as I will steal Gabrielle."

Cryton turned on the demoness, realizing with a start that this was Xena before him. "You have no right to dictate to me! You want him for your own selfish reasons!"

"And so do you, Cryton! Forget your revenge and concentrate on the war with the Light, and when it is over, you and he will be fighting side by side. Nobody will keep me away from my family, not even you!"

With a growl, Cryton turned to leave the room, only to be held back by a pair of demons. He struggled but could not break their grasps.

Xena's face broke into a cruel grin. "I was hoping you would turn down my generous offer."

The room full of demons closed in on the struggling form as he cried out in pain. He may have been dead, but in Hell he could suffer for eternity if it was so demanded.

One look in the demoness' face told him that was what she demanded. He let out a scream of helplessness as all sight was blocked by the surrounding demons.

~*~*~*~

The cave seemed much darker now than it had an hour or so ago. Joxer knew he needed to tend to his bruises and check if Cryton had actually wounded him, but Eli's safety was more important.

He had spent enough years as first the son of a warlord, and then as Xena's companion to know that to get to your target, you created a diversion.

He stumbled slightly on the rocky floor of the cave but kept on walking hurriedly towards Eli. He dreaded what he would find, yet somewhere deep within his soul, he knew... he knew that he would have known if something had happened to Eli.

Finally, he found the hidden cavern and stepped through... to find it empty. His heart pounding, Joxer searched frantically, until he found what seemed to be the other side entrance of the cave. Stepping through, he saw Eli kneeling on the cold snow.

He sighed silently in relief, and was about to make his presence known when he heard Eli speak up.

"What good-- is this gift-- if I can't at least protect the ones I love?!" Eli demanded softly from the sky.

Joxer stood quietly, his heart wrenching at the deep hurt in Eli's voice. His mind told him to retreat, that this was private. His heart wanted to go and enclose the almost weeping man in his arms. But his body did neither as he stood frozen in place.

Eli hung his head. "Why did you even give this to me?! What am I supposed to do? You show me!"

Silent tears streamed down both men's faces. Eli choked back a sob as he finished. "What am I supposed to do?"

As Eli finally fell silent, Joxer shook himself and decided to listen to his head and go back. Eli needed some time alone now.

Walking slowly and still painfully back into the main cavern, Joxer wondered how could two men such as he and Eli, who had lost so much in so little time, ever recuperate.

\With love.\

Joxer jumped at the whispered answer to his thoughts. As he turned he fell back a step. He completed a circle, but found no one in the cave with him.

"Hello?"

\Together you can be strong enough.\

Joxer jumped again. "Wha - what are you talking about? Who *are* you?"

\Who I am isn't important. It's who *you* are that is.\

"What? What do you mean?" Joxer asked, still turning in circles.

\You mustn't deny your true self. Your path is chosen. Walk it with confidence and love.\

Joxer shook his head in confusion. "What path?"

The voice seemed closer, but Joxer felt no fear. Instead, he felt great peace within himself, as if he was surrounded with love and kindness.

\Listen to what your heart tells you, and do not deny yourself. Your path is chosen. Your destiny awaits you.\

Joxer closed his eyes, the love he felt around him bringing him close to tears. "What is my destiny?"

\Listen to your heart. And follow the Light.\

Joxer opened his eyes as he felt warm hands on his face and gasped as he saw the cave bathed in brilliance. A man dressed in white with wings more beautiful than Cupid's stood before him.

\Love will be your guide.\ The man spoke without forming words. Joxer closed his eyes yet again as his head was tilted down and the man pressed a kiss to his forehead. \Love is where you find it.\

Joxer felt his tears run down his cheeks. He opened his eyes and found everything normal in the cave. He shifted and was surprised that his body no longer ached. Actually, he felt better than he ever had before.

Not ready to dampen the happiness he felt, he stayed in the cave, away from Amarice. They would decide about the bodies later.

~*~*~*~

The blonde figure watched unhappily as the battle waged on below her. Her brown, sorrow-filled eyes blinked away tears as her mind desperately searched for some act she could perform to put a halt to such destruction.

She sensed a presence behind her and turned, looking into a kind face. She nodded in greeting.

The man's gossamer wings folded behind him as he stepped next to her. "Where is Michael? I have just returned from a mission and I must speak to him."

She gently shrugged her shoulders, then looked back down into the melee below. The man followed her gaze and he winced upon witnessing the violence below.

"You have returned," a voice said from behind them, almost causing them to jump.

The man nodded and stepped close to Michael, who was fully armoured and prepared to join the fighting below. "It is done."

"You have done well. I can only hope it is enough to right the mistakes made in another time and place."

The man nodded, then looked a question at Michael. "Why was I sent on this mission?"

Michael's face allowed a small smile as he answered the question. "In another time, you and the one you helped were very close. If we succeed with our activities on earth, then it will no longer be necessary to send you or any others among the mortals."

Michael turned his gaze on the sad woman. "We must prepare for our part in the battle. I will return for you shortly, Callisto." The angel's gaze turned back to the man as he took a gentle hand in his own, spreading his wings to prepare for flight. "Come, Virgil. Your mission is over, and mine is only beginning."

Callisto watched as two sets of wings spread wide and, still holding Virgil's hand in his own, Michael led the way to Paradise. Turning her eyes and her mind back to the battle, her heart ached to find a solution.

Xena was the greatest threat to Paradise the angels had ever known. Yet, she couldn't help but sympathize with the woman who'd sacrificed herself so that Callisto could have a second chance. What Xena wanted, needed most was her family.

Callisto would have to find a way to give her what she needed, and put an end to the violence in the process.

~*~*~*~

Joxer jerked awake and yawned. He couldn't believe he'd actually fallen asleep. Slowly getting up, he stretched his muscles. The sun was setting and it was getting colder, so he took off his armor and drew his blanket around him.

Joxer wandered to the mouth of the cave and stood watching the sun descend behind the woods. A breeze blew inside, and he pulled back. Looking around he spotted Amarice curled up on the floor next to the large rock where Xena and Gabrielle's bodies where laid out.

Seeing how the young amazon cradled Xena's broken chakram to her chest, he was reminded that it wasn't just Eli and he that had lost two very important people. Amarice had lost two friends as well. He wondered if Amarice's tribe still existed... if she had anywhere to go back in Greece.

Shaking his head, he straightened Amarice's blanket around her quietly so as not to not disturb her.

Without his armor on, Joxer could be surprisingly quiet.

He made his way towards the back cavern, intent on finding Eli and bringing him over to the main cave where they could all be together. Eli wouldn't fight and he was vulnerable if caught alone... by the Romans or another demon.

He found the cave more easily this time, and stopped beside a sleeping Eli. Crouching down next to him, Joxer gently brushed a strand of hair away from Eli's face. He looked so beautiful at rest.

What surprised Joxer was not that last thought, but his easy acceptance of it. He closed his eyes and remembered the words the winged man had told him... \Love is where you find it\

Joxer sighed as he realized that he did love Eli, that this was his path. But was it Eli's?

Sighing again, he ran a thumb across Eli's cheek, only to stop mid-motion as Eli turned and spoke in his dream.

"...are the other half of my soul..."

~*~*~*~

Eli felt the strange but familiar sense of displacement. Without opening his eyes, he knew he was entering into another vision. Only the Light knew what this one held, and what it was meant to tell him. Gathering his courage, he slowly pried his eyelids open.

Taking into account his faculties, he realized he was lying flat on his back, staring up at a blank ceiling with his hands folded over his chest. With a shiver, he had the strangest feeling that he was being watched. He slowly turned his head to the side and didn't even try to fight the smile that overcame his face.

There was Joxer-yet-not-Joxer sitting in a chair by the bed, a book open on his lap lit only by the dim desk lamp beside him. The brown eyes smiled at him from overtop the strange contraption on his face. Eli felt himself smile even wider, and he knew that he had no intention of even trying to fight his words or actions in this vision.

With a tightness in his chest and in his groin, he also realized the other man was completely naked, and comfortably so in his presence.

"Well, hello sleepy-head," the all-too-familiar voice spoke to him softly, spreading a warmth through him. "Did you get enough rest?"

Eli felt himself chuckle. "With you around, that's impossible."

"I could always return to my quarters if my presence is interfering with your duties, 'Doctor.'"

"Not on your life, 'Lieutenant.' That's what shore leave is for, after all." Eli could feel the smile on his face dimming. "I'm sorry about tonight. I wanted everything to be special, and the last thing you deserve is for me to pass out on you like I did."

The other man frowned as he closed the book on his lap, placing the object on the desk, removing the object he wore on his face and placing it alongside the book. He rose, his pale skin gleaming in the dim light of the lamp, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Don't you even think of being hard on yourself. How many lives did you and Doctor Westphalen save tonight? This is your path, and I wouldn't dream of taking you from it." A pale hand reached out to caress Eli's cheek, the thumb rubbing along his cheekbone. "You're the only one I love. You're my hero, and I..."

"You," Eli's lips spoke, pausing to lift a hand to caress the one cupping his cheek, "are the other half of my soul."

Eli lost himself in the other man's eyes. The brown depths were filled with love and devotion, and Eli felt truly blessed to be on the receiving end of that look. The gentle face lowered itself closer to Eli's, and he lifted his head so that his lips could meet the ones descending upon his. He felt his body burst into flame from that simple touching of lips. He reached out for the other man's waist, pulling him down onto the bed next to him so he could feel the naked flesh against his own.

He could feel the groan rise from his throat before he could hear it. He pulled his lips away from his lover's and began kissing his way along the man's jaw. "God, Tim, look what you do to me."

Tim's hand slid down Eli's body to cup the raging erection that pointed right at him. "I love you, Josh. Always," he placed a kiss on Eli's neck, "forever," he gently bit the bearded chin, "mine."

Eli felt himself throwing his leg over his lover's and moving so that he was lying fully over the other man. He could feel the electricity running through him and knew his body didn't want to wait for its release. From Tim's stroking of his cock and the look in his eyes, Eli knew he couldn't wait long either.

He reached between their writhing bodies, seeking his lover's slender cock, fuller and harder than it had been only moments before. He joined his hand with Tim's, bringing their cocks together and forcing groans out of both of them.

He stared into Tim's beautiful eyes as he felt himself thrusting into their joined hands, feeling his lover doing the same. Every movement he made was magnified in his lover's eyes, and he felt a stillness, a peace inside him that only the other man could bring.

As his motions sped up, he could feel his control slipping. His hips bucked without rhythm, his partner instinctively meeting him move for move. The perfection of the moment was almost more than he could take.

He could see the orgasm's approach in his lover's eyes, and within moments, the body beneath him stiffened, eyelids shuttering closed as liquid heat covered their joined hands. The last thought he had before he hit his own climax was that he'd never seen such a beautiful sight.

As his orgasm ripped through his body, he cried out a name with his last breath.

As his boneless body settled against his equally boneless lover, he came to a realization.

As he'd come, his lips had cried out 'Tim', but his mind had cried out for Joxer.

~*~*~*~

Joxer slowly pulled his hand back, using all of the discipline he'd learned as a boy to not make a noise.

He stayed crouched next to Eli, knowing he should leave and give him his privacy, but he couldn't get his body to cooperate.

Joxer tensed slightly as he murmured again, but he couldn't make out what Eli said. Joxer closed his eyes, fighting with himself. This need he felt to know and *not* know who Eli was dreaming about was tearing him apart.

A deep moan from Eli made his eyes snap open, and he watched as the older man arched a bit. The robes that hid his body were not enough to cover the erection Eli had. Joxer's breaths turned shallow as he watched as Eli vibrated in obvious pleasure. He closed his eyes again and tried to imagine being the person Eli dreamed about.

A few silent tears streamed down his face, thinking that someone as wonderful and special as Eli could never want someone like him. Being careful still to not make a noise, he slowly got up from beside Eli and walked to the cave door.

Just as he entered the cave again, he stopped cold as he heard Eli cry out, love, desire and passion evident in his voice.

Joxer turned around and looked back at the now-awake Eli in awe.

Because Eli had cried out *his* name.

Eli was staring at Joxer, aware that he'd heard him, knowing Joxer knew just why he'd cried out his name.

Eli scrambled to his feet, wincing slightly at the feel of his robes, uncomfortably wet.

"Joxer! I..."

"Eli-"

Eli cleared his throat and tried again. "Is everything all right, Joxer?"

Joxer stepped closer to Eli, and nodded.

Eli wanted to take a compulsive step back, but stood his ground. "And Amarice?"

Tilting his head back a bit, Joxer answered, "Sleeping."

Eli's eyes locked with Joxer's and he swallowed hard at the feral look in his friend's eyes.

"Joxer? What are you-" Eli started to ask but Joxer cut him off.

"Eli, do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"Shut up," Joxer said with a smile as he grabbed the front of Eli's robe and gently pulled the Messenger to him and kissed him.

Eli gasped in surprise and Joxer took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. As Eli felt Joxer's tongue lightly stroke his, he moaned deep in his throat and pressed himself closer to Joxer.

An eternity later, both men broke the kiss but not the embrace, taking in a much needed breath.

Their eyes locked, expressing their thoughts and emotions better than any words could. Almost simultaneously, both faces spread into silly grins.

Joxer tilted his face up to meet Eli's lips when all of a sudden Eli's head popped up, the dark eyes growing distant as though lost in thought. The messenger's silly grin grew ecstatic.

"That's it," his voice whispered, awe-struck.

Joxer was feeling confused, as well as a little left out. He was about to speak when Eli's eyes returned to his.

"That's it!" Eli cried out as he tightened his hold on Joxer, lifting him and swinging the slender man around in a circle. Finally, Eli set Joxer back onto the ground, released the man, then took his hand and all but dragged him back into the main room.

Eli nodded in acknowledgment at Amarice, who was just waking from her sleep, and kneeled at the end of the slab upon which the corpses lied. He placed his hands on each of their foreheads, closing his eyes and calling upon the love he felt in his heart.

He could feel the power of his feelings for Joxer. He isolated them and let them take him over, reaching out with them as if they were a signal fire...

...A blonde head looked up, amazed at the love she felt directed at the heavens. It was a love so beautiful, so rare, and all for one person -- a person she didn't remember, but was somehow familiar.

*Could this be my answer?* she thought.

It surely was no coincidence that the presence struck her with the same familiarity as had Gabrielle, as well as the one who had sacrificed herself so that Callisto could go to the Light.

She pulled the emotions into herself and redirected them toward the figures she now saw fighting before her.

Only love could save them now...

...Swords clashed and wings batted in time to the blows. Neither combatant wanted to leave the other, yet neither did they wish to leave their new homes.

As their weapons connected, they were both hit by a myriad of powerful emotions. They paused in their struggle, eyes meeting with recognition of a love almost forgotten.

Simultaneously, their eyes closed as their souls searched out the final link in their chain -- the one who was closer than family...

...Joxer's hand rested on Eli's shoulder, watching as the man he loved did... whatever he was doing. He wasn't so delusional as to think he understood Eli's gift, but he could at least stand at his side in quiet support.

To his amazement, he saw two sets of eyelids begin to flutter. His hand tightened on Eli's shoulder as a panic threatened to overwhelm him.

"Wh-what's happening?"

Eli's eyes opened and he looked up into Joxer's face, a smile brightening his features to ease Joxer's anxiety. "They have returned."

Joxer looked wide-eyed at Eli, then turned again to look at his friends.

He left Eli's side and rushed to Xena's as he saw that Gabrielle and she had opened their eyes.

"Xena? Gabby?" He watched in amazement as the women turned their heads toward each other, then looked up at him. He helped Xena sit up as Eli supported Gabrielle from behind.

Xena looked at her hands, turning them, trying and failing to find evidence of the nails that had been driven through them.

Gabrielle leaned against Xena's back and grabbed one of her best friend's hands. She turned to Joxer and managed to say, "Joxer? Are we-?"

Joxer cut in immediately. "Alive, you're alive," he whispered.

Xena looked up at Joxer, then looked over her shoulder to see the confused expression on Gabrielle's face. Joxer was taken by surprise as Xena pulled him and Gabrielle into a fierce hug.

Amarice waited until the trio broke their embrace, then approached Xena.

"Here," she said, handing her the broken chakram. "I saved it. Maybe you can repair it."

"Thanks Amarice, but I'm not sure I can," Xena gazed forlornly at her favorite weapon.

Joxer returned with two blankets which he immediately draped over his friends. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," Xena answered.

Gabrielle nodded in agreement, and Joxer laughed a bit.

"It's good to have you two back."

A little while later, Gabrielle dozed off, exhausted, and as Joxer and Xena helped her lie back, Xena grabbed Joxer's hand.

"It's was beautiful up there, it was almost everything I ever wanted."

"Almost?"

"I didn't have all my family with me. I missed you too, Joxer."

Eli looked on as the love of his life and the woman who'd changed it hugged as brother and sister... finally.

~*~*~*~

Joxer untucked and retucked the blanket around Xena and Gabrielle's sleeping forms for the fifth time. He smoothed it out and ran his hands over the faces of his resuscitated friends. If it weren't for the cold air that was blasting into the cave and the coldness he felt in his bones, he'd think he was just dreaming.

He had no idea how Eli had done it... how he'd brought his friends back to life. But looking at the peaceful faces of his long-time friends, he decided not to question it any further. There were forces working here beyond his control or knowledge, and he wasn't about to argue with them.

Looking over his shoulder at his soon-to-be lover, he smiled. All Joxer knew was that the world was finally right again.

He contemplated his friends once more and felt his chest tighten up. He'd nearly lost them for good. And the love of his life had brought them back... Sniffing slightly, he bent down to press a kiss on both Xena and Gabrielle's foreheads.

He caught Amarice's eyes and motioned for her to come towards him. Putting down the chakram she was still trying to figure out how to repair, she stepped silently to him.

"Amarice, you stay here with them, keep an eye out. As soon as Xena and Gabby get their strength back we move, but until then, you must look out for them. I'm gonna stay with Eli deeper into the cave. There's an exit on the other side. That way, the Romans will have less of a chance to ambush us."

Amarice stood wide eyed, surprise to hear such a good strategy from Joxer. The way Gabrielle spoke of him, she though he was an idiot.

Joxer caught her wide-eyed, surprised stare and smiled. "I'm the son of a warlord. My brother's an assassin. I travel with Xena. I've been around war all my life. I've picked up a few things," he said grinning.

Joxer turned to fetch Eli, and found the Messenger hiding his smile behind his long tresses. Nudging him slightly with his foot, Joxer got Eli to look up at him. His breath caught at the blinding smile the older man gave him.

Eli stood up, bringing their bodies close together for a second until Joxer took a step back, aware of Amarice glancing at them.

Clearing his throat, Joxer turned and started walking into the tunnel that led to the smaller cave. "Come on, Eli. Let's give the girls their privacy."

Eli shook his robes out and followed Joxer, his eyes torn between Joxer's soft, brown hair, his taut shoulders, and his firm backside.

As soon as they entered the cave and were out of earshot, Eli grabbed Joxer from behind, pressing his chest to the strong back.

He pressed a chaste kiss to Joxer's neck before the warrior turned in his embrace.

Holding Eli's hips, Joxer leaned forward to kiss him. The kiss turned passionate fast, both men alternating between kissing and being kissed.

Eli gasped softly as Joxer's hands dipped lower and grabbed his ass, pulling him closer and grinding their groins together. Joxer kissed a path down Eli's jaw, pushing the robe's collar away to latch onto the crease between shoulder and neck and sucking lightly.

Eli gasped for breath, and pushed Joxer back a bit.

"What?" Joxer asked, a little scared he'd pushed Eli too far.

"Nothing, love. I just believe we would be more comfortable if we lay down."

Joxer felt himself blush a little, but he took Eli's hand and led him to the fur rugs laid out on the cave's floor. He locked gazes with Eli, and pulled his shirt over his chest, dropping it next to furs. He bent down to pull his boots off and after he finished that, he started undoing the laces of his pants.

Eli had been breathing hard since Joxer had first grasped his shirt, but to watch him undoing his pants was more than he could stand. Stepping close to Joxer, he grabbed him by the waist and pulled Joxer into a fiery kiss. He pushed the rest of Joxer's clothing off him, then broke the kiss to pull off his own robes, revealing only a loincloth underneath which Joxer soon made history of.

In unspoken agreement, they laid down on the furs, covering themselves from the cold.

They started kissing, hands running freely across smooth skin. Fire burned inside of them as their cocks brushed against each other. Eli rolled over on top, settling between Joxer's spread legs, the furs falling slightly from his back.

Joxer shivered from the sensation of Eli overtop of him and the cool air swirling around them.

Eli let nature take over him and he started thrusting against Joxer, wanting so much more than just this contact, but knowing that they had nothing to ease the way.

Joxer grabbed Eli's hips, then slipped his hands over Eli's ass, grabbing hard and pulling his lover closer to him. He raised his legs and locked them around Eli's thighs.

Joxer was so close to his peak that when Eli reached between them to grasp his cock, he came all over their chests, his mouth open in a silent scream, arms and legs white from their grip on Eli.

The look of complete ecstasy on Joxer's face was enough to make Eli come, muffling his cry on Joxer's neck. Slumping down, he rested his weight on Joxer for a minute before turning a bit so he has half off his lover.

Cuddling Joxer tight, he pressed a kiss to his sweaty temple.

"I love you, Joxer."

"Forever and always, Eli."

They fell into the best sleep of their lives.

~*~*~*~

Tim O'Neill's eyes fluttered as he surfaced from yet another dream. It had been so strange, so... unusual, vaguely reminiscent of the dreams he'd had of Darwin but of a very different nature. He shivered as some of the details came to him, desperately hoping it wasn't another manifestation of his unwanted psychic abilities.

His arm flailed blindly in the general direction of his night table, finally snagging his glasses and placing them on his face. One glance at the chronometer by his bed told him that he only had half an hour before his next shift on the bridge, enough time for a shower... a cold shower, judging by his reaction to the images that had invaded his sleep.

The entire time he was on the bridge of seaQuest, he couldn't stop thinking about the dream. It wasn't unusual for him to dream about his lover, but the man he'd seen hadn't quite been Joshua. His hair had been too long, and there had been something almost... spiritual about him.

He'd been so lost in thought that he'd almost missed an order from the Captain. Thankfully, he suffered no other lapses on the bridge, and it wasn't long before his shift was over. He walked down the corridors to his lover's quarters, still wondering at the meaning of the dream he'd had.

Only once the door was closed and locked did Dr. Joshua Levin dare open his arms to the man he loved. They came together naturally, desperate for even the touch of their lips against the other after a long night apart.

Tim pulled back, content to look into Joshua's eyes -- the same ones he remembered from last night. He felt another shiver run up his spine, and knew his lover hadn't missed his reaction.

"Tim, is everything okay?" the darker man asked, reaching up a hand to brush away a stray lock of hair from Tim's forehead.

"I-I had a strange dream last night."

"Want to tell me about it?"

Tim nodded. Joshua led him over to the bed where they sat next to each other, his arm over Tim's shoulders in comfort and support.

"You were in it," Tim began, his eyes taking comfort from Joshua, "but it wasn't quite you. And it was me, but not quite me."

"And what did we do?"

"We were making love, and it felt as if it was the first time. Maybe it was." They exchanged a smile before he continued. "And there were some others before that. Two women I felt close to, like family. And somehow I knew that they'd died and had just come back to life, and it was you who had brought them back. I felt such gratitude."

Joshua's hand smoothed along Tim's hair as he saw the strange effect the dream had had on his lover. "And what do you think it means?"

Looking into Joshua's eyes, Tim felt his love for the man overwhelm him. He blinked away tears as the words poured out of his mouth.

"I love you, Josh. You know that. And I've never been happier than I've been with you. But I think I've realized something."

"And what's that?" Joshua asked, almost feeling nervous about hearing the answer.

"I'm surprised I haven't realized it before now." Tim reached over and took Joshua's other hand between both of his own. "Something could happen to us any day. An accident, a stray torpedo anything. And there are so many things we're afraid of that we can't do anything about."

Tim took a deep breath before he continued. "But there are also things we're afraid of that we *can* do something about. I'm tired of hiding, Josh. I'm tired of constantly being afraid of what will happen to us if somebody finds out about what we've found with each other."

Joshua gulped, closing his eyes as he tried to find the right words. "Does this mean you don't think we..."

"No! No Josh. I love you too much to let you go now. However, I *do* think it's time we figure out for ourselves how to answer any questions, and then come out to the crew." Joshua let out a sigh of relief as his lover continued. "We can start with Captain Bridger I know he'll be okay with this. There aren't many people who will have a problem, I don't think."

Joshua hugged Tim closer, knowing Tim's greatest fear. "And Miguel? I know how close you two are, and how much his rejection would hurt you. I don't think I could stand to watch that happen to you."

Tim released the hand he held to cup his fingers around Joshua's bearded face. "I love you. I will do anything to be with you. If Migs can't be happy for us, then... then I guess he isn't as good a friend as I thought."

Their lips came together, sealing their agreement. When they broke apart, Tim rose from the bed and pulled Joshua up next to him. They took the few steps necessary to reach the door, then paused.

Tim placed his hand on the door's handle and looked at his lover with a nervous grin. "So, Doctor, are you ready to take the first step? The Captain's quarters are right down the hall."

Joshua bent down to take Tim's lips one more time before answering. "Anytime you are, love."

Both men took a final breath before opening the door and starting on the next step of their long journey together.

The End :)


End file.
